Wanna know your perfect fit? See what MOTHER has to say.

Dear Aries,

You are way too passionate for me. You dominate conversations, and I just need a break. MOTHER knows that you crave the new and different, so let us introduce you to The Sugar Cone Prep Heel jeans. It’s a wide leg, which coincidentally creates some space between us.

Dear Taurus,

Your gargantuan presence and charm is undeniable… so please just give us all a fucking break and do less. MOTHER is here to put you in your place. And by place, we mean The Tomcat Roller, tailored to showcase your arrogance.

Dear Gemini,

Which one of you will I get today? I'm always walking on egg shells with you. Here's The Shrunken All in a Days Work jacket. Good for either personality.

Dear Cancer,

Your spirit carries you to the distant corners of the world, bla bla bla. We get it. You have made your deep connection to the divine perfectly clear… so please stop whining and throw on The Tripper Ankle. Then you can look like an average person like the rest of us.

Dear Leo,

I know you were a born lover, but yikes man. You’re trying to fill a void. Here’s the missing link that your vibrant personality craves: The Rambler Ankle Fray – a look that commands attention. Life will probably get better, just don’t forget to exercise that excessive pride and quick temper.

Dear Virgo,

You look tired. Have you been up all night dissecting your life? MOTHER understands. Slip into the iconic Hustler Ankle Fray — a high-rise jean that effortlessly contours your silhouette and elongates those tired legs.

Dear Libra,

The Patch Pocket Insider Ankle will showcase your impeccable ass. And that’s all that matters… right MOTHER?

Dear Scorpio,

We might need you to lower your expectations. Stop looking for the deepest secrets of the soul, it will take forever. You might be relieved to know that the answer to eternal happiness is just a pair of Hustler Ankle Fray jeans. MOTHER loves you.

Dear Sagittarius,

If you’re looking for a captivating connection of emotional depth, we can’t help you. We only sell jeans. Here is The Weekender Heel.

Dear Capricorn,

Thanks for sparing us and keeping your emotions under lock and key. It’s rare these days to find someone bearable to be around. As a reward, please try on The Tomcat jeans. They don’t look great on everyone, but MOTHER encourages you to at least try.

Dear Aquarius,

We know you are passionate about your weirdness, but MOTHER wishes you were more normal. Step into our Mid Rise Dazzler Ankle jeans, the most generic of the bunch.

Dear Pisces,

You’re a hopeless romantic, an eternal dreamer, and you possess a heart so pure it's practically made of stardust. But you have no friends. Try The Looker. While your compassionate nature might potentially bring sunshine to everyone's lives, MOTHER understands what a good pair of jeans will do to help your popularity.

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